It was a few years ago that my brother decided that the only three-letter word starting with ‘S’ in his life would be the Sax. Hours, days and weeks were spent looking for that perfect saxophone, the instrument that would allow my brother to find himself.
Finally Gia (the saxophone is human too, I was told) made her way across the family threshold and my brother thus began his first tryst at lovemaking with the saxophone. It is then that I realized that the only difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw was the grip.
Then there was a time in my life when it was surrounded with musicians and a friend would often say about his band that when called on stage it would be announced thus ‘would the musicians and the drummer please come up on stage’. This particular drummer of the band could always be detected at the door, his knocking would always speed up, but he would constantly have trouble entering the room because a drummer that he was, he would never know when to come in. And the poor thing, each time he’d get depressed over being the butt of all jokes, he’d be cheered by saying that he’s better than a vacuum cleaner, at least he doesn’t need to be plugged in to suck!
But I have never understood why drummers have always been the brunt of jokes; I have come to realize that even clarinet players have hordes behind them, out to kill them. A master chef pointed out to me the other day in the course of a conversation that the difference between an onion and a clarinet is that nobody cries when you chop a clarinet into little pieces.
But then again, I have yet another mad musician friend who traded his wife’s piano for a clarinet, thankful that one cannot sing while playing the clarinet. He was of course the same person who would stand out in the garden, no matter what the season, each time his wife would play the piano before it was traded, he didn’t want any of the neighbors to think he was beating her.
To cut a long story short, I still think music is underrated, imagine what a beautiful world it would be, if life had some background music…
To be continued…
Finally Gia (the saxophone is human too, I was told) made her way across the family threshold and my brother thus began his first tryst at lovemaking with the saxophone. It is then that I realized that the only difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw was the grip.
Then there was a time in my life when it was surrounded with musicians and a friend would often say about his band that when called on stage it would be announced thus ‘would the musicians and the drummer please come up on stage’. This particular drummer of the band could always be detected at the door, his knocking would always speed up, but he would constantly have trouble entering the room because a drummer that he was, he would never know when to come in. And the poor thing, each time he’d get depressed over being the butt of all jokes, he’d be cheered by saying that he’s better than a vacuum cleaner, at least he doesn’t need to be plugged in to suck!
But I have never understood why drummers have always been the brunt of jokes; I have come to realize that even clarinet players have hordes behind them, out to kill them. A master chef pointed out to me the other day in the course of a conversation that the difference between an onion and a clarinet is that nobody cries when you chop a clarinet into little pieces.
But then again, I have yet another mad musician friend who traded his wife’s piano for a clarinet, thankful that one cannot sing while playing the clarinet. He was of course the same person who would stand out in the garden, no matter what the season, each time his wife would play the piano before it was traded, he didn’t want any of the neighbors to think he was beating her.
To cut a long story short, I still think music is underrated, imagine what a beautiful world it would be, if life had some background music…
To be continued…
1 comment:
Truly ... the "only difference between a chainsaw and a sax is the grip" ? ...... OK ... fair enough.
Try ... massacring a family in Texas with a saxophone !!
(You know what I mean ?)
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