Here we go again...

Come on in,

It's a feast of delight

There's abundance of sin

What's wrong will feel right.

Coming and going,

In fire and Cold

Dazed and unknowing

Of fate untold.

Love will break you

All great men said

And there will be no life anew

To its last burning thread.

But senility has its method to madness

And love, such a heady thrill

It pierces through with blinding sadness

And then just goes for the kill!

See, the thing is that I am a strange sort of person as we have already established and I have no issues whatsoever that we have 365 days to go for the Commonwealth games and just look at Delhi, nothing seems to have changed in the city except painting one building pink and purple to denote that some work for the games is on, but that is not my problem.

My problem is that when we do fall flat on our face and Suresh Kalmadi does have to eat crow, he should at least not look like he borrowed his fashion sense from Subhash Ghai. As I was skimming through my Saturday papers joyfully, suddenly there I saw this monstrosity staring back at me. It was none other than Suresh Kalmadi looking the way he does (and that of course, can't be helped) and to add, wearing this hideous black and white and red tee-shirt that had me experience a brain-freeze moment without any ice anywhere in sight.

Someone should suggest a fashion stylist to the man, otherwise we'll end up apologizing for more than just the Commonwealth games being a feather up our arse instead of our hats....

Television has turned our brain into mashed potato!

What in the name of Martin Luther King, is this world coming to? I am perplexed at what television is beginning to dish out in the name of entertainment...a half-bald, pot-bellied Rahul Mahjan is making a grand pretence of marriage on national television and threatens to be even more melodramatic than his predecessor, Rakhi Sawant. Wearing traditional Indian finery and sitting poised atop a garish red coloured chair, that ghastly vision alone can give many women a heart attack (and not of the swoon and die variety may I add)and while I nod my head in what has become of television, my ex-producer from Meow calls me up in a highly excited voice to say that she has messaged the numbers flashing on the screen of the wretched channel that is hosting this pathetic little play acting all through the day and has been asked to send four photographs of herself to the channel, two of which should be face close-ups and the other two, wide-angle shots along with an elaborate profile (as in CV). Given that I know how Moina gets her kicks, I know this is her way of getting some cheap thrills in a boring life, but there will be all these women in India and abroad, I bet, who are already looking up websites to find an appropriate name for her children with Rahul after she gets married to him on that wretched Swayamvar.

And that, is so not the end of my woes. On Star Plus the other day, I managed to catch a glimpse of a reality show called 'Perfect Bride' in which these some 10 odd women live with 10 odder, older women. Twist in the tale being that the younger ones are the single maidens while the older 'aunties' are mothers of eligible bachelors who incidentally also are a part of the show only that they stay in another part of the set called 'Kunwar Quarters'... bwahahaha...first this whole kunwar quarters business reminds me of servant quarters and most of the boys even look like that. The girls are shown being bossed around by the older women in the name of trying to please the potential mothers-in-law to be and when they are not doing the highly challenging job of sweeping and swabbing the floors, they are busy romancing the men in a special corner meant just for that purpose with a 78 camera set up I presume in which the women ask some really sensitive, real and heart-wrenching questions like 'what has been your happiest moment in life thus far' and the men so earnestly and unexpectedly reply by saying ' This one that I am living with you'! Need I say more?

Elsewhere on some other channel, all the serials look alike, with all of them being set in some Rajasthani village and all the women, serial after serial wear shirts which look like they belong to men, over skirts that look like they belong to an upmarket Khan Market store and speak in a dialect that sounds like they are all suffering from some intestinal disease.

But hell, why must I just be mean and bitchy about Indian soaps, 'Friends' on two different channels is being repeated for the 79464525282927354548503214575 time and by now, much like me, I am certain that most other people know what each character is about to say next. I mean, I have reached a stage where I have, out of sheer boredom of it all, starting counting the number of crows feet near Phoebe's eyes!

The only one, actually two things that I totally adore on television currently are 'Fear Factor- Khatron Ke Khiladi' and 'Dare to Date'. The former is aired on Colours and what I love about it is the fact that there are these death defying stunts that I totally trip on, and to add, there are these hot leggy women who perform them and its a pleasure to watch them wearing minimal clothing, flying in mid-air, swimming with cameras underneath them...you get the drift. I also quite like Akshay Kumar, I think he's very funny in a very vernacular sort of way...

Dare to Date, another one of my favorites, is on channel V with VJ Andy and its all about putting two very different people together and hoping that they survive each other enough to want to follow up with another date. Its sexy, its bitchy and hugely entertaining. I think I need to dedicate one entire essay on why Dare to Date works for me, but that in just a bit...till then, have fun chewing on this one....